One of the things I love about life are the weird and crazy stories you hear. If you’re a news junkie like me, you get the privilege of hearing them every day! Whoo-hoo!
Today, it’s the…unintelligent man who wielded sausages to perform his attack. Now, to be fair, he also used a wrench, and that’s troubling because he could have seriously injured the poor bicyclist he tried to maul.
Luckily, I think the victim will be ok. But this story gave me pause to wonder: is it ever ok to use food as a weapon? Furthermore, how much damage could you possibly inflict?
- If you don’t like your dinner, throwing it at a would-be assailant is completely ok. Bonus points if it’s cooked to within an inch of its life and could be called a hockey puck, in which case you could inflict damage.
- Throwing food at a possible intruder or robber or mugger could deter him or her long enough that you can get away. If it’s really good or smells fantastic you might throw the person off balance just long enough.
- If the food in question is saucy, you might create such a mess that, like #2 above, you’ve given yourself time to get away. Bonus if it’s also really spicy – it could cause damage to the attacker’s eyes, giving you time for a kick before you sprint for safety.
- Throwing food in your attacker’s face might just anger him or her more, making the attacker more likely to inflict serious injury.
- Being laughed at by an assailant will just make you feel stupid, so put it down.
Either way, in a dangerous situation, you have to use whatever you’ve got on hand. So although you might be laughed at for the rest of your life, it might be worth it. Just take it with a sense of humor and I think you’ll come out unscathed, as long as your attacker is really idiotic, like the man who tried to mug a cyclist with frozen sausage links.