Comparing and Contrasting Between Women

Here’s how the nicest version of comparison goes. The first is what you say to your girlfriend; the second is the thoughts that run through your mind directly after you speak.

“She has better hair.” It’s long and shiny, and mine is too short. I hate my haircut.

“Look at her! She is so skinny.” How does she do that????? She’s pushing a double stroller!!!!

“Can you imagine all the work she does? It must be really hard getting it all done.” Dadgummit. She has three kids under the age of five, works full time, and she serves on three committees at church. With her husband traveling like he does! How does she look so perfectly coiffed all the time????

Here’s how the normal version of comparison goes. (These thoughts may be accompanied by a bit of a snarl).

“Good Lord, somebody give that poor girl a cheeseburger! STAT!” I just hate it when other women are skinnier than me. I deserve to be thin. I work out six days a week and it just doesn’t seem to change! She looks like a refugee.

“Well, you know she doesn’t spend as much time with her children as I do, but then, I’m not your poster child for mothering…” How come she works and I stay at home and her kids are more successful than mine??

Photo courtesy of

“Who? Oh, her? She’s just a bottle blond.” Blonds look like they do have more fun. How come nobody seems to find me attractive anymore?

Compare and contrast. We, as women, all do it. Some of us just keep our thoughts from coming out of our mouths.

Why do we do it? Ya’ll know the answer. Whatever you complain about most is what is bothering you. So when you compare yourselves to other women when it comes to your body, you obviously have a problem with yourself in that area. If you compare yourself to other women when it comes to raising your children, you have insecurity in that area.

But what if you compare yourself to other women in just about every area you possibly could? I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one out there who does it!

I have a sister who would blow Martha Stewart out the window if she had her own tv show and magazine. She can make homemade gift wrap from construction paper and a potato stamp. She makes her own pita chips (and they are absolutely scrumptious). She has the interior decorating genes of…well, I don’t know any universally-acknowledged decorator, but if I did, I would insert his/her name. Her fashion sense is classic and elegant. In short, everything she touches is like gold; it has an enchanting quality that many women envy.

I, on the other hand, buy my gift wrap and wrap my gifts like a fourth grader. At Christmas, I don’t have to put my name on gift tags; everyone laughs and says, “Well, that one definitely came from ___!” I buy pita chips. Chips of any kind. They’re nowhere near as delicious as hers. And my home? It’s…eclectic. Some would say tacky. When I decorate I don’t know where to stop. And my fashion sense? Interesting. Certainly not elegant or classic.

When she gets ready to go to the grocery store or out on the town, it takes her about an hour and a half to finish. Every hair is perfectly placed; every clothing item is tended carefully and pressed to perfection. Lipstick is chosen and applied expertly. Shoes are trendy, hip and selected to match her clothes. She wears pearl earring studs to work out in.

When I get ready to go to the grocery store, I put on yoga pants and a t-shirt. I might apply mascara and lipstick – if I remember. When I work out, I sweat and look a mess!

Photo courtesy of Did I mention that presentation is EVERYTHING, dahling? And my sis is superb at that too!

For those of you with comparison issues (hello, every woman in the world!) you can probably tell that my sister makes me feel incredibly inferior without saying a word! I don’t think she means to do it. After all, she’s just being who she is. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I would challenge any woman who says, “So what? So she’s a control freak, a type-A personality? You don’t have to be perfect all the time. Your way is better.” I would say that this opinion of my sister, and other extremely well-put- together women, stems from jealousy and not fact!

I love to watch movies with beautiful women who wear great clothes because it inspires me. (Movies with well-dressed men give me clues as to how to buy clothes for my husband). My sister inspires me, even though I feel inferior, and when I leave her I have a renewed sense of style and beauty, just like when I watch a great movie.

Joyce Meyer wrote a book called The Confidant Woman and I read it a short time ago. She believes that the secret to confidant women is that they don’t compare themselves to others. I used to be an extremely confidant person but I was faking it; eventually it became habit, but even then I was constantly comparing myself with other women.

When I see a woman who is prettier, more put together, smarter, etc. – I feel bad about myself. I don’t have feelings of dislike for the other person – I used to – but I am intimidated by her.

Lately, though, I have found myself thinking different thoughts. Like, “Wow, I love her hair! It’s so beautiful and long and curly. Mine is a chopped-up mess.” Then, “Wait a minute! My hair’s just fine! First of all, I can grow it out as long as I want. Second, would I ever grow mine out as long as that?? How would I have the time to fix it? Would I even want to? Nope. I can admire her hair without feeling awful about mine. That’s freakin awesome!”

So when you find yourself thinking negatively about your own characteristics, remind yourself that you can change what you want about yourself in most cases, and if you can’t, you just have to live with it. Even though you like how so-and-so appears, maybe that look wouldn’t work for you anyway. God gave you what He gave you. Appreciate it more!




“Read My Lips” – Sort of…

Have you heard that the National Retail Federation wants to tax on-line stores that sell to folks out of state? Let’s consider this issue.

Do you want to pay an extra tax if you buy this on-line and live out-of-state from the retailer?Even if you haven’t, lets’ debate the issue.

The pros? Well, some sort of government will receive more tax revenue. Shoppers might be more likely to cancel an intended purchase once the sales tax is added, making them more likely to review all their purchases and tighten their belts a bit more, adding to their savings. On-line retailers might even lower their prices a bit, to make up for the addition of a sales tax. Wait…that’s not exactly a pro – it’s more of an even-Stephen.

The cons? Purchases from on-line stores will cost more. Less people might make on-line purchases.

Did you see a pro that local retailers will make more money because less people will buy on-line items? No, you’re not crazy. I don’t believe it’s actually going to happen if this law comes into effect.

But there is another side to this issue, and that is whether or not the federal government has the right to make a decision about this, like the U.S. Supreme Court already did (

I’m not a hater of the federal government. I’m not sure where I stand on the so-called “flat tax” – mostly because I haven’t heard enough from supporters to make up my mind. But most people in favor of the flat, or fair, tax, believe in less federal government and more states’ rights, and I definitely agree on a case-by-case basis. This is one of those cases. Either each state should decide to add sales tax to on-line sites so that when retailers sell out of state, that buyer is additionally taxed, or the voters of each individual state get to decide. What do you think?

Some of My Favorite Things…

Food, that is. I’m no foodie. And if you’re looking for an original contribution here, you are out of luck. I don’t create things on my own – I borrow from people I love, be that my Mama, my sister or some lovely ladies on The Food Network. After all, come five o’clock we all shout, “It’s Paula, ya’ll!” at my house.

Below is a little recipe I’d like to share with you, but don’t stop reading once you’ve gotten down to the end – there is one other thing I’d like you to see.

Giada De Laurentis’ Fig &Almond Tart (Photo Courtesy of The Food Network)


  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 tablespoons sugar, plus 1 tablespoon
  • 1 lemon, zested
  • 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
  • 10 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
  • 3 tablespoons ice water
  • 3 1/2 ounces almond paste, at room temperature, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
  • 1/3 cup mascarpone cheese, at room temperature
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 tablespoons honey
  • 6 large or 12 small fresh figs, sliced, stems removed or 20 dried figs, reconstituted *see Cook’s Note
  • 1/4 cup apricot jam


Combine the flour, 2 tablespoons sugar, lemon zest, and salt in the bowl of a food processor. Pulse until blended. Add the butter and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse meal. With the machine running, gradually add the water until moist clumps form. Turn the mixture out onto a work surface and form into a ball. Flatten the dough into a disk and wrap in plastic wrap. Chill the dough for 1 hour.

In a clean food processor bowl, combine remaining sugar, almond paste, mascarpone cheese, vanilla extract, and honey. Blend until smooth.

Position an oven rack in the center of the oven. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

On a large sheet of parchment paper, roll out the dough into an 11-inch circle. Transfer the dough to a large, heavy baking sheet. Spread the almond filling over the dough, leaving a 2-inch border. Arrange the figs on top of the almond filling. Spoon the jam over the figs. Fold the dough border over the filling to form an 8-inch round, pleating the crust loosely and pinching to seal any cracks in the dough.

Bake the tart until the crust is golden, about 40 minutes. Place the baking sheet on a rack to cool for 10 minutes, then slide a metal spatula under the crust to free

the tart from the parchment. Transfer the tart to a platter and serve.

Cook’s Note: To reconstitute dried figs, simmer in water for 5 minutes. Let the mixture cool completely. Strain before using.


You don’t need your husband or boyfriend to buy Stella & Dot for you!

A dear friend of mine sells Stella & Dot and for a recent special day, I got a beautiful pair of earrings as a gift. Girls, if you’re in the mood for trendy, classic, or just plain FUN jewelry, this is it! See for more information!